i'm afraid.. :(

gosh.. what's happening? what happened to me? i am again to enter in a medication process that will truly devastate my disposition in life once more.. i'm gonna start tomorrow and i'm already depressed of what i will be going through again.

the sleepless nights, confusion, dizziness, headache, tiredness, the negative feeling and much worse: the sudden weight gain. :( oh no, i don't wanna go through that again but it's inevitable and that i really have to.. i will also face the fears of long term side effects of all these.. :( ayoko na.. :(

ang dami ko pa namang nababasa na puro positive things online and yet wala akong maramdamang joy and optimism because of this dilemma. but... if this is God's way of reminding me that He is our God and He is our all-knowing and all-loving God, i will submit to His sovereignty. i just really pray that this Christmas, i'll be okay na.. no more pains and depressions please!


so for one week or more, expect a very gloomy and depressed version of me.. but bear in mind that i really don't like that kind of mood and attitude but things that are out of my control is overriding my emotions and i have no choice but continue with the medication no matter how much i hate this one. :(


haaaay.. to end this post, let me share something i saw in tumbLr, swakto lang sa nafi-feel ko ngayon..

... and this!

"She is out there. My Cinderella. She is real. She exists. I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consume her. May He claim her passions, her identity, her refuge, her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of her being. May she treasure and cherish her Savior more than anything of this world and cling to His will with every ounce of her stamina. By all that she is, does, and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him."

- Adam Young (aka Owl City)  (via maddyinchrist)

(Source: 250wordsmith, via princessofpeace)