i am bleeding ..

it hurts, i'm frustrated.. my body aches..

i felt it, every piece of me is broken.

hope this will soon pass :(

super-mega out of town ceLebration :)

waah! sobrang saya, as in .. i was so excited that time kc nga first time ko uLing bumiyahe ng matagal after 8 months! grabe talaga.. di ako masyadong nakatuLog nun kc nga excited ako tapos estreLLa pa! wow.. aLthough na-guiLty din ako kc nga i wasn't able to attend the church service . . hayyz. i'm sorry, LoRd :(

pero nag-enjoy din naman talaga ako, yun Lang .. at least after ng matagal-tagal na panahon ay nakapag-unwind/relax na din ako.. imagine kc db, after graduation in college,work ako agad so madaLi Lang talaga akong ma-burnout nang ganun.. buti na lang this opportunity came and i feLt refreshed talaga.. na-enjoy ko yung company ng bawat empLoyees :) saya! dami pang pagkain, yun yung bongga! :) hehe..

basta yung focus ko talaga nung mga panahong yun is to enjoy the food, the swimming, the sight-seeing and pureLy fun.. i wiLL treasure these memories for sure ..

tapos pag-uwi ko tamang-tama kaka-umpisa ng Pinoy Idol so I was able to watch the finaL showdown.. may onLy bet, RAM - sad to say, nauna siyang na-eLiminate at naLungkot talaga ako, then Lumipat na Lang kay Jayann yung simpatya ko kaya lang parang di siya kagaLingan that night at si Gretchen eh super tripLe yung confidence so siya yung nanalo . . ayaw pa sana naming tanggapin kaya lang wala na kaming magagawa, di kami bumoto eh! hayyz.. aLthough maganda nga si Gretchen pero nakuLangan pa rin ako sa kanya sa mga performances niya sa whoLe duration ng Pinoy Idol.. Anyways, support na Lang kapuso♥ naman siya eh.. i just hope she can live up to our expectations ..

in concLusion : i truLy enjoyed the outing and it made me feLt so tired, sakit sa paa at katawan but it's worth it! :)

take a peek sa mga pics namin na nasa fs ko na din :)

thoughts..thoughts.. and thoughts..



ang dami-dami kong naiisip nowadays na magandang topic to post here but as always, iisa-isahin ko to ;)

First, GANDA nung opening ng OLYMPICS sa Beijing, grabe ! as in nakaka-WOW sa ganda.. ang bongga! Nainggit ako ;) gusto ko rin ma-sight yung ganun, someday! But unfortunately, wala pa ring gold ang Pilipinas.. hayzz, nakakalungkot pero sige lang, GO TEAM PILIPINAS! :)

Isa pang nakakalungkot na balita, Philippine nominees for New 7 Wonders of the world are already down to 9th rank. Nakaraan, nasa 2nd place na yung Tubbataha tapos ngayon nasa rank 9 na, ang bilis! Gosh.. Underground is in 11th place. Sana makahabol pa, visit www.new7wonders.com to vote.



Anyways, kagabi nakapanood ako ng last night and episode ng “kung ako ikaw” ng GMA-7 and kahit papano nalungkot din ako kasi pinapanood naming yun palagi basta may time lang tsaka kumbaga nagkaro’n na ng space sa amin yung show pero on a lighter note, mapapalitan naman sila ng 3 new shows na I hope maging total entertaining talaga sila at maging successful. Dubbed as “Bilib ka ba Nights”, these new shows will star “CHRIS TIU” (I love him) in Ripley’s Believe it or not every Mondays, PAOLO CONTIS (gusto ko rin siya eversince) in World Records every Tuesdays, and Ariel & Maverick in Masquerade every Wednesdays plus may bago pang show every Thursday naman, yung Obra. Lipat na naman ng Saturday yung Nuts kasi wala nang Songbird, but we’ll wait for its second season J. Tsaka kagabi ko lang nalaman na reformatted na yung news and current affairs ng GMA. It made me once again proud of my home network :) wow.. pero infairness, maganda talaga.

About superbianca, ewan ko anong nangyari sa kanya bakit wala pa rin siyang post but I’m still hoping na she keeps on writing to inspire people like me plus the ever charming and dashing Chris Tiu, wala pa ring entry :( sad.. pero ok lang naman, kc busy talaga tsaka ok lang yun as long as he is a kapuso :)

My another love of my life, Rico Blanco has already release his very first album entitled “+your universe+” as a solo artist, and according to reviews, the album is very good. Siyempre, RICO BLANCO yun eh! Ibang “tatak” niya. I’ve already heard his single “YUGTO” at galling, ibang klaseng areglo, ASTIG ! Ever talented and influential RICO will always have a place here in my heart. My support for a brilliant artist like him will always be here and will not vanish away. LUMIYAB KA, rico at tayong lahat na Pilipino.



Ayus!

more than conquerors

As I said last day, I will post some inspirational notes I have jot down last Sunday on our joint service at Church in line with our Lord’s Supper.. entitled “MORE THAN CONQUERORS”, Ptr. Joe (our speaker) directly pointed out the main target and it’s a breather for me and a realization point as I ponder on the past week I have lived wherein as I have shared, is one of the darkest moment I experienced in my life. It’s a slap for me to wake up and start fixing my life according to His own will.

Title: MORE THAN CONQUERORS
Text: Romans 8:26-39
Speaker: PTR. JOE DE GUZMAN

So, here’s the memorable lines:

• God wants to remind us today that He did not create us to limp through life, defeated and being knocked down by the devil, by our circumstances, by our enemies, or anything else. We were made to win - and not just by a narrow margin but convincingly, we are not just victors but more than conquerors.
• The Holy Spirit is our prayer partner. Many times we do not really know or realize where we would like to take to the Lord. There is Someone who can express our thoughts and desires clearly.
• God is in control of the events of our lives. If our hearts are yielded to God, nothing bad can ever happen to us. We are not saying that nothing unpleasant can ever happen, or nothing irritating can ever happen, or nothing sad can ever happen, these are facts of life. But when they happen, God has promised to work them for our good… for our benefit.
  ROMANS 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good, to those who love God and to those who are called according to His purpose.
• We are surrounded by God’s inseparable love. This is confirmed by statements written by Apostle Paul in Romans 8:31

----- If God is for us, who can be against us? -------

It’s so comforting talaga knowing you’re not alone and that There is Someone who will always guide and love you no matter what. This is the sweetest promise anyone has ever given me, a promise so easy to hang on to and believe in so much. :)

Lists of wonderful things that truly inspires me..

Witnessing someone's exceptional talent and super ability to make simple things a great and perfect one is truly an inspiration to me.. a lot of them actually has touched my own life in ways i also never imagine i have experienced already. truly, one silent moment can be extra special when you're pondering on things that really matters. PEACE - i must say is one of the ingredient on how we can achieve total happiness, and that's what i'm trying to figure out in my life and taking time to find it in my inner core..

Here are the list:

“One of the great undiscovered joys of life comes from doing everything one attempts to the best of one's ability. There is a special sense of satisfaction, a pride in surveying such a work, a work which is rounded, full, exact, complete in its parts, which the superficial person who leaves his or her work in a slovenly, slipshod, half-finished condition, can never know. It is this conscientious completeness which turns any work into art. The smallest task, well done, becomes a miracle of achievement.”

--og mandino


"Naalala ko pa, wala ako halos problema, Iwan at pabayaan, basta't kalaro ay kasama,Nung mga panahong yaon, Wala na kong hahanapin pa,Mga kalokohan at ang tunay na kahulugan ng kaligayahan."

- Angat River, Bulacan.


"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~


Ang buhay, ganun lang talaga, Pag may iiyak, may tatawa.Pag may ngiti, may pighati, may pasakit, may dalamhati.
Sa ating pagkakaiba, sa huli tayo-tayo pa rin ang magkakasamaSa lungkot at problema, hirap, hinagpis at ginhawa...
Ang mas mahalaga, ay lumaban ng pareha.

- Angat River, Bulacan.


at hindi lahat ng ina, ngayon ay nakangiti,kaharap ang realidad na ang bukas ay sa kahirapan mananatili...at hindi lahat ngayon ay magiging masaya,dahil pag sapit ng bukas, anjan pa rin ang problema...
ang trahedya ng pagiging ina...

- Escolta, Manila


There is always something behind a smile, if you are to give one, give what can make them feel fine.

- manfrommanila


Sabi ni Inay, "dito na ko nabuhay, dito na rin mamamatay," naitanim ko yun sa aking isipan hanggang sa ako'y maging isa na ring ina...mahirap ang buhay sa ilalim ng bubong na sako...sa tabi ng kalsada na puro usok at alikabok...kung dito man ako nabuhay, at dito rin mamamatay...wag naman sana mangyari sa aking anak...

- salinlahi


Of course, there will always be those who look only at technique, who ask "how," while others of a more curious nature will ask "why." Personally, I have always preferred inspiration to information

~ Man Ray


“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.”

- Tori Amos


Kay tagal na rin pala...Di ko na rin maalala ang aking pinagdaanan. Marahil marami sa mga yugtong iyon ay pinipilit ko pa ring kalimutan. Dumaan man ito na parang mga dahon na nalaglag sa puno nung tag ulan, ito ang nag bigay sa akin ng kakayahang maging matibay at kahit papa ano, di man sa pag iisip at emosyon, maging matatag. Di matinag sa mga pasaning mabigat, bumangon kapag napagod, kapag natisod at kapag inapakan.
Kay tagal na rin pala. Tumatanda, tumataba, bumibigat ang mga problemang dumadaan. At kahit ganun man, ang aking kabataan, hindi ko malilimutan.

-Reuel Mark V. Delezaka Kamalayan


---these are the list of quotes that I know will linger in my heart, it truly prompt me to become better as as days passes by and at the end of all these things, I can be the best that I can be..

Anyway, here's one song that topped my favorite last week and this week as well, the message is so positive I can't help but be positive also and take on the brighter side of life.. :)


Natasha Bedingfield
Unwritten lyrics

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before youOpen up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

---i've enjoyed this post.. :) tomorrow, i will share some insights I gained in ou Sunday service at Church .. I am truly blessed!

shout-out!!

here's the delayed post na supposed to be ay last monday ko pang na-i-post but due to some bad weather condition in my system, it was postponed because i was totally screwed up.. As in all the energy i felt loosen up, those moments in my life three days ago was one of the darkest, I must say.. I've experienced really heart-wrenching feelings and it almost broke all my self-control.. Hayy..

Goodbye Video City! :( yun na lang ang masasabi ko. Salamat na din!

Anyway, on a lighter note, we celebrated our friends big day as she turned 18 last July 28 sa "teritoryo san miguel" :) joke lang.. nag-dunkin lang din kami and it was a fun night for us, 5 kami with apol. We had the opportunity to bond even for a night na matagal-tagal na din naming di nagagawa. We headed sa "baybay" at nagkuwentuhan, tawanan, and everything lang kami dun.. Gosh! Nainis sila sa ginawa kong tarp kc ang pangit daw.. Waah! hehe.. take a peek muna.. :)



Ayun, biglaan ang lahat kaya masaya na lang din kasi unexpected ang lahat so parang e really enjoyed almost every minute.. pero siyempre may mga times din na hindi nakakatuwa pero ok lang! the night has to go on.. :) kaya nangyari yun na nagkayayaan kami is because the early part nung gabi, nabadtrip na ko sa mga tao so i decided to unwind and have some refreshing night and for the first time uli, nakauwi ako ng later than 12MN and it was fun.. i slept with jing. tagz and apol after a long time.. :)

then next day, rather night, i went home early so parang na-miss ko "uLi" yung night out so me and jing went out, ate chaolong (sarap ;O) ! then naglakad-lakad sa coLi, and it was a fun moment for me, i had a peaceful feeling otwards everything.. siLent moment ko na din with jing:)

but... the time we went home, dun na nagkaron ng giyera sa buong house.. as in "ang dibdib ko ay sumikip, ang paglunok ko ay naipit " ang drama ko .. haiz.. i'm making joke na about it kc i'm medyo fine but when that incident happened, i was totally freaking out and my whole mind is shaking and aching to the point of not having a proper and comfortable sleep kasi nga ang pangit talagang matulog ng walang peace in your inner wii.. as in all the peacefulness i felt later that eveing totally vanished away, i felt the self-pity again.. ang hirap makatulog ng galit ka sa mundo.. kinabukasan ng morning, for the first time again after a long time, i cried.. weeh! bkt? wala lang.. due pa rin sa sama ng loob ..

but as always, i regain my cool two days after .. i have to kc kung hindi, mamamatay ako sa heartache.. :)

and kagabi nga, dun uli ako natulog with my friends and tabi-tabi kami sa higaan 4 kami at nagkasya kami ha? pano naman kasi ang lakas ng ulan tsaka hangin.. katakooot!!! waah... haha! we had fun again pero di na din masyadong maingay kasi lakas ng ulan di na kami marinig ng iba.. i think 1pm na ata kami nakatulog, brownout pa kaya it's a total scary night for us !! hayy.. i had a good night sleep with them, saya ng gising namin.. When we woke up, belly dancing again to the tune of "hips don't lie" ayos! :)

masaya ang buhay boarding house although at times may mga pressures but more on fun kasi we're all hype and game to everything..

BIG day ng aking most beautiful and most caring MOMMY in the worLd today !! happy happy BIRTHDAY to her! MABUHAY!!

My wish?? Good health, long life, peacefulness and happiness ! we LOVE her!! she really ROCKS our world..