If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. — Peace Pilgrim

This is the main banner quote of my most favourite inspiring blog, happythings. Come to think of it, it's quite true, right? 

WARNING: EMOTIONAL BLOGGING coming. :p

Since yesterday, I'm feeling a bit low and I really, really hate it. I can blame this to my medicine. You know how much I despise being emotionally drained and being so negative about my life because the toll it's giving  to my emotional well being is so damaging. I'm kinda tired of what I've been doing right now. Actually it's been a long time already since I've lost interest in everything I do and do you know that feeling of not having choices to choose from? I hate that feeling. Well, it's not that I don't have a choice but what's more precise is I don't have enough courage to give this all up. Maybe if someday, I'll have the boldness to try new things, the feeling will be total exhilaration, relief, and hope that everything will be better. Courage, please?

I've been thinking a lot again and I badly wanted to get out but I'm feeling desperate that I'm still stuck here. I don't wanna do this anymore, honestly. I don't know how to do it. I feel like they're taking away my dreams of discovering the world and that the longer I stay here, the more my dreams become a blur to me. Plus the text message I received today from a friend didn't help a bit. It goes like this:

"Life is all about waking up each day to discover something new 

...about meeting same people but making new conversations

...walking thru old roads and still feeling nice about it

...realizing that you have grown a day older but still feeling young at heart

...meeting busy scheds but still finding time to smile

...being nostalgic about gone days but looking forward to better days to come.

Little and simple things to enjoy yet it gives to much joy..."

After I read that, I realized as I was walking that old road I've been walking at for the last couple of years, I can't find in my heart that nice feeling I should have. Talagang nag-stick sa akin yung "old roads and still feeling nice" kasi di ko talaga maramdaman kanina na masaya pa ako sa nilalakaran ko. It's so unfair how all the people I knew have moved outside their comfort zones and yet I still can't! I feel like I'm not strong enough to handle the challenge of the unknown. (Or maybe yes?) That I'm not that ready to face the world? But how would I know if I didn't even try? Oh fate, what's in store for me? And yes, faith, don't hate me yet, okay? I'm still trying to discern what my future holds. It's just so hard to be all that grown up! :p

Thankfully I have a breather from all these drama in my life. The Shopaholic Series! It keeps me company whenever I'm having insomnia attacks and Rebecca Bloomwood gives me so much joy. I loooove her! I love seeing all those branded stuff like Prada, Dior, Hermes, and so much more! I wish this world more Becky's (minus the obsessive spending, of course) so we can have a colorful, kinder, and more exciting world. 

Okay, so my emotional blogging is done. I'm feeling a little more hopeful about my future. :) Hopefully, after this no more negative thoughts for me because THOUGHTS ARE REALLY POWERFUL. 

Lastly, I got this from one of my devotions which really started all this predicament which isn't necessary at all.. 

Has God spoken to you about an area in your life that requires a step of faith? Let God provide the courage, as He does the knowledge, to act in on faith on what you believe. KNOWLEDGE + ACTION = FAITH

Until then, let's allow Jesus to be "the fairest" above all in our personal lives by seeking wisdom from His word and following in His step.

I hope I feel better na tomorrow because tomorrow is Church day! ♥ See you tomorrow, Lord. :)